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Have I Ever Been In Love?

A lot of people have different definitions of love, or the depth of love. And a lot of times things get so confused within these situations.

I can safely say, that I have been in love with one woman, once.

I'm not going to go into the details of who this was, or when in this blog. I'll just say that for once in my life, for a short time, I felt completed.

Maybe I'm not judging this situation objectively. Was I in love with the other women I've been with? Maybe at times. And inevitably, in the future I'll probably meet more women that I will feel more in love with than this person.

But the reason I believe I was in love with this person is just how deeply I felt for them. And the synchronicities and almost parallel thinking we had at times, like there was some type of telepathy. I can definitely also safely say I had never had that with anyone else up until that point, regardless of how many relationships I had had.

There's something dreamy about being in love. It's like a filter put on a film print when you're watching a movie. This hazy, misty resonance that puts you deeply in the moment. There were glimpses of it before with others, but never lasting as much as with the person I'm speaking of.

At the same time, when things went sour, which they did for various reasons, I cut off all contact with them. It's something I deeply regret, but it was too painful losing them like I did. I couldn't handle having such an intense experience and not being able to see them in the same way again.

They tried to retain contact for awhile but I evaded them, and tried to avoid them. I don't know why they did this, maybe they wanted to try to see if we could heal things and try again, I'll never know.

That was before I cut off contact. I did this again for reasons I'm not going to delve into. I probably didn't handle the situation we were in the best. I pain to think what could have been if things had turned out differently.

Even so, I know people who say they've never really been in love, or they've never "really" been in love or some combination thereof or permutation thereof.

I can say with 100 percent confidence, I have.

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